Politics BREAKING
Election Mascot Breaks 30-Year Silence to Launch Bid for Office
The Electoral Commission's famously apolitical mascot says he has looked at the field and decided he can't do any worse.
This morning, the electoral commission mascot, commonly referred to as ‘Orange Guy’, has announced he is competing in the 2026 general election.
Speaking to Tamaki Times reporters from inside a cardboard box outside a pak'nsave in Glen Innes, the figure broke 30 years of stoic apoliticalness silence to confirm his independent candidacy.
When asked about the reason behind his candidacy, Orange Guy stated “To be honest, all the candidates are rubbish and there aren't any better ones coming along, so might as well run for election myself.”
Some of his standout policies include
- You can now sign up to vote on the day (again)
- Free sausage sizzles every few months
- Electoral commission gets 10 times the funding
- He will raise your taxes and cut everyone else's
- Jail everyone that doesn't vote
Orange guy has not yet confirmed what electorate he is standing in yet, but he expressed interest in standing here in Tamaki. He will be running as an independent.
This is satire. The Tamaki Times is a work of satire. All stories are fictional. Any resemblance to real events is a coincidence, or a cry for help.
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